Never mind the homework, here's the Vegan Teacher

up in the yukon on holiday. celebrated my birthday with some snowboarding and had the new propagandhi record on a continuous loop. i know, it’s still two weeks until it comes out. i’m a bad dude. but i’ll buy it on it’s release date, and i’m driving to winnipeg to see one of the record release shows so there. the record needs to be thoroughly studied so thrashing potential at the show will be 100%.

Industrial Arts at  Jr. High today. My first class started of with this little hyper-hypo tearing around the shop. “Ten bucks says he took two puffs today”, some kids mutter. “Of what, a smoke?”. “Ha! No! Of his asthma medication.” Some other kids doddle in, one with a remarkable flat-top. His friend gives him the nickname Boxy Brown. Another kid goes straight for a power drill, takes out his ipod and is about to start drilling a stuck plastic bead from the headphone jack when I tell him to quit being a dumb-dumb. He says it doesn’t matter if it breaks it because his Dad will just buy him a new one. I start groaning about kids these days, disposable this and that while we heat a pin up and pull it out.

During the second class a kid asks me about when I plan to shave off my sideburns. I tell him I wasn’t really thinking of doing it anytime soon. He tells me that “they’re pretty bad, no offense”. Then he asks if they’re real. Then he unexpectedly reefs on one of them and I let out a yelp.

Science 8, overhear some kids arguing. When I ask them what’s up, a brown kid asks me if it’s true that only white kids like A&W, because he thinks it’s gross.

Back to the shop. We’re making bubblegum machines, boxes, birdhouses and Japanese lanterns. Some kids are silkscreening shirts. One kid shows me his friends design.

Needless to say I was impressed that this grade 8 boy planned on screening the iconic image of a harDCore band that existed over 25 years ago.

I also took the cat into the vet today. They are both now up on their vaccines. They are still bad though and I’ve become very stealthly in my midnight searches for the yowling one, who is either punted outside (weather permitting) or serves a late night detention in his carrier.

Alright, I have some catching up to do on here. Friday saw me in my first Art class at another Jr. High on the North side. All grades. The 7’s were fun, I helped them build little sculptures of men out of wire. They were into it and we had a good time even through the protests of one girl who claimed she didn’t like to do dirty things. Oh, and there was the boy who tried to walk out of class with the garbage can under his shirt. The 8’s were also good. Just had to keep one boy from destroying his Science textbook with the pliers. The same boy later cut his finger on the wire, but refused a band-aid because “band-aids are for pussies”.

The 9’s were a whole other can of worms. Very aloof. You’ve got the goth kid who walked out half way through the class. Where did he go? Who knows. Maybe he took my friendly critique of the shitty music he had on his ipod to heart. My rule is if you’re going to listen to music in my class, I get to see what’s on your ipod. This usually leads to discussion and I get to know the kids a bit better. Some of them have decent collections. Some of them have ipods chalk full of digital dog turds. I figure if you’re going to be goth, you should at least go whole-hearted. You know, Joy Division over Silverstein or whatever the hell else that demographic is being marketed. Anyways, then there were the two boys I’m pretty sure were Phelpsing it up between classes. One of them kept “forgetting” his pencil in the bathroom and the other couldn’t stop laughing at the leg I made for his sculpture. I tried to call them out on it and they never did confess, but there was something fishy going on there. Overall, easy day.

Today however, my goodness. Grade 4/5 split on the northside. Absolute insanity. Kids running around, knocking over desks, drawing boobs instead of painting landscapes and causing other various ruckuses. I’m pretty sure I told one boy to sit down over 100x. He was really getting on my nerves and just when I felt like I was going to snap, he gives me a picture!

Then he went over and irritated the Muslim girls with a sunshine girl that he pulled from the newspaper, while his friend distracted me with queries of Michael Jackson’s sexuality. I couldn’t wait to get out of there…

I ran into a young man at the local Safeway who was a part of my Bio 12 class last spring. He got my attention while I was paying for my groceries and I had to do a double take before I realized who he was. 400kms away from where we last saw eachother, and he couldn’t wait to show me his newly minted University ID. Informed me that he was enrolled in the B.Sc. program with a major in Biology. He’s 6′9″, I looked up and told him I was very proud. I shone for the rest of the day.

Today was radical. I was doing some socials stuff at a school on the North end. I was hesitant, it was far away and I’ve heard rumours about schools up there. All hearsay of course. The kids were wicked, super funny and worked really well. School was in the top 3 for sure.

One Grade 7 boy called me out on being in a band. I told him it was true. He asked me the name and I told him to guess. He guessed the following (in this order):

Sum 41

Simple Plan

My Chemical Romance

Maroon 5

Green Day

Kardinal Offishal

Lil Wayne

P. Diddy’s band

Fat Joe

Some days are hilarious, today was one of those. I was at a high school today with a grade 10 English assignment. The school was huge, very modern and I’d never been there before. It was in a district that was alright, the same one as a couple of my favorite schools. Anyways, I was subbing for another sub. Said sub also happened to be a lady I went to Ghana with. A nice lady, but very strict and not a lot in common with students. She warned me that my classes would be challenging.

During the first one, I had to play sub-cop a bit. Booted a girl out for throwing pennies. Had to help the class through their assignment which had some questions that were pretty vague. Even I was confused. One student told me it was baby English, that English classes in Toronto were way better and that the assignment was gay. He also told me that he thought math too, was gay. I questioned him about the sexual orientation of the subjects, and that perhaps he meant to tell me that he really enjoyed them. This coaxing did not elicit the response I figured it would. No, math is gay and apparently useless because “cosine law, you can’t use it in the grocery store or anything, so who cares?”. I explained why the fundamentals are important, but he told me that since he’s going to be a football player he didn’t need to know. I asked him if he’s been training hard to make the NFL. He said he played a game one time and that his cousin was Russel Peters. Really? No, his Dad’s friend’s cousin’s son is Russel Peters.

Another assignment is handed out. This one a little more challenging. I have fun not accepting anything that isn’t fully completed which frustrates some students, but keeps them busy and engaged. A busy student is a hassle-free student. Once they’re done that, they are to write a speech from the standpoint of themselves in 10 years. Some students are finished from yesterday so I take the opportunity to read their work, get to know them a bit. You only have 80 minutes with these guys and they’re usually more interesting than the younger ones.

One student’s paper didn’t really answer any of the questions but was more of a rant about how the assignment didn’t matter because the government was controlling our futures anyways. Apparently the Venus Project will see everything done by machines unless the government is overthrown. Not just ours, but all governments. He made a few interesting points and we talked a bit about conspiracy theories, but I had to tell him that he might have to put a bit more work into his paper.

Another student tells me about how when he was in grade 8, he was a pot addict. I tell him I really didn’t need to hear about that kind of thing but he tells me it’s cool, because after rehab and a bunch of pills from the Superstore he can concentrate again. His friend is getting nothing done so we have a pow wow with his assignment. He tries to avoid my requests to see his work which at first were “home”, then “in (his) bag”, then “lost”. Finally he admits he had nothing and was screwing around all last class. We go through it and get some questions done.

A student shows up super late. An urban kid, a bit aloof. I give him his assignment and he goes to it. I check up on him later and he also tells me that he misses Toronto. We start talking about that, which leads to Toronto music, which leads to music, hip hop and how people should have something to say. He has a lot to say about the subject, I am thoroughly impressed. He finished his work, does a really good job and peaces out.

It’s nice having weekends off again. For the past few months, I’ve kept a schedule that has had me working 6-7 days a week. Chalk it up to finally having some dough coming my way, and me getting excited about using it to pay off a bunch of debts I had accumulated. But from now until the summer, weekends will be reserved for practicing and taking it eas’.

This weekend I made it out to a craft fair organized by a local artist which featured booths selling things like silkscreen prints, mixtapes, handmade clothes, zines, graphic novels and the like. I found myself at a table where a guy (my local rock and roll hero) was selling small guitar amplifiers that he’d made from things like old in-car heaters and drive-in speakers. I was enamored with a particular amp he’d fashioned out of the air vent from an old Mercury. He said he’d switch the speakers out for something better and hook me up. This guy is really my favorite. When he’s not playing rock and roll, he fixes cars at a local garage and makes amps. Awesome.

I also picked up some new film for my camera. I developed the first two rolls last week. One was good (you can see the photos I took of my cats to the left), the other was crap. Lesson learned, check your aperture or take photos before you drink all kinds of holiday wine with the fam.

Had a dental appointment today. I haven’t been in a couple years so my teeth endured much picking and I was read the riot act on flossing. But no cavities and everything is looking good. Also, benefits rule. Not having to pay the $300 was the greatest.

I have some work lined up this week. Tomorrow is English at a high school on the south side. My posts last week were fairly cryptic, I know. Thing is, when I work at these inner city schools, lots of crazy shit happens. But I want to avoid sounding dramatic or gloomy. The kids are always good, but sometimes it’s not funny. It’s just heavy and very real, which leaves me in a mindspace where I don’t really want to talk about it and also kind of feel like sharing their comments, even anonymously, is not really appropriate. So that’s that.

However, I did collect over a dozen paper airplanes during the Grade 6 science class. During my lesson, I had to stop one boy in the back of the class from sending me a graham cracker via air mail.

West side Jr. High AP Math classes yesterday. Not a whole lot to report. The kids were very studious and had to write a midterm, so my job was not much more than observing and answering the odd question.

Inner city Elementary/Jr. High today. Mostly Science classes, one Math class. A few interesting things to say about this, but I’m on route to the restraunt so I’ll post again this weekend when I have a moment.

I’ve had an irritating week of cancellations, 3 so far. But the next few days are booked solid so we’re all good, plus the teacher’s convention is coming up so I’m not going to worry about it.

Also, an update on the whole touring Cuba thing. The band is in the process of applying for invitations from the Cuban government. Once they come, we apply for travel grants. The routing has been finished and as it stands, if we go we’ll head from one end of the island to the other in just short of 3 weeks with 12 shows in between. I didn’t really make much of the original proposition, but the guy we’re working with has some great contacts and has been down there a few times networking with Cuban bands.

Also, the CBC is reporting changes to tar sands environmental policies. I’m, how do you say, cautiously optimistic?

This weekend a friend acquired some free tickets to a hockey game and asked me if I’d like to join. I haven’t been to an NHL match for about 20 years, tickets are way too expensive and I never really cared anyways. But I’ve been wanting to go this season so I took him up with no hesitation. I guess lately I’ve really been into large gatherings, games, big concerts. I like the idea of people putting their differences aside and collectively enjoying something for a moment. A celebration of spirit I guess you could say.

It was really fun. Our seats were fantastic and the juxtaposition between watching a hockey game on television and actually experiencing one up close was a fantastic experience. The unprovoked boos from my section provided endless amounts of comedy. The prompts for cheering firing up all these people and the phantom drummer (who would sound off the classic “let’s go blah-blah” call-and-response) were thoroughly enjoyed by my compatriot and I, three stadium Pilsners into it. Even though we lost, it was wicked fun. Yeah yeah, sports are dumb. It’s overpriced, statistics are pretty much useless in the grand scheme of things, I agree. But the gathering is what’s important, and I totally get behind that aspect.

On another note, people in my province are starting to wonder what’s going to happen now that the U.S. President has began promoting a Buy American solution for the recession. Being that this place really banks on the price of oil, people have started to fear that the end is neigh! But I think it’s a great opportunity for us to finally diversity. You can’t depend on a finite resource and dirty practices to sustain the population. Everyone knows how incredibly short sighted and dangerous this is. So hopefully the province sees this as a way to nip this tar sand bullshit in the bud, or thistle or whatever. After all, these ponds are going to be here for an incredibly long time. A friend recently pointed me in the direction of some photos of the ash pond spill in Tennessee. I shutter to think what would happen to our fresh water supply should current tailings pond barriers ever break.

Well, I’m back at the subbing tomorrow. This will temporarily cease production of more half-baked thoughts. So until then; should I or should I not attend the Fleetwood Mac show here in May?