Never mind the homework, here's the Vegan Teacher

So much has happened since my last post, I don’t know where to begin!

First off: Michael Jackson. For me, the fact he’s actually gone is just starting to settle in. A friend of mine had tickets to one of his shows in London and I was anxiously awaiting her review of it (which would’ve been in another month or so). Alas, it will not be. Somewhere amongst my punk rock roots is a total appreciation of the King of Pop. I remember listening to Thriller, Bad and Dangerous all on cassette tape, focusing mainly on the beats but not denying his incredible vocal abilities. You can’t deny, in an age before music editing software and voice pitch correctors he was able to pull off some great stuff. Of course this was all complemented by his innovative dancing, no doubt his own personal catharsis. I was standing outside of the venue
Thursday night, 3 hours before we were supposed to play when a friend of mine told me he’d croaked. I didn’t believe her, it was all some zany ruse to promote his final concerts I figured. But then I saw the paper the next morning and that was that; the Elvis of my generation was gone. You know what? I don’t think anyone will ever be as big as him either, with the democratizing of music and collapse of major record labels spelling the end of the music superstar, I doubt we’ll ever see the crowning of another king.

Alright, what’s next on the chopping block… Today is my last day of teaching. I almost shit a brick yesterday when I got a paystub in the mail and it was significantly smaller than what I was anticipating. Turns out it was one of the two (?!) cheques I’ll be receiving for my summer pay. I’m super stoked because I was not enjoying contemplating what to do for summer work. With this whole teaching thing being an effort to avoid shitty labour jobs, entertaining the idea of hauling a wheelbarrow full of heavy shit around to pay rent is not easy. But it looks like there will be no need! Besides the odd shift at the restaurant and some bucks from the DJ night, it’s time to get creative and slowly work my way through several projects I have lined up which I’m sure will be used as fodder for summer blogging updates.

But this teaching contract has been great, and a heck of a learning experience. From my initiation into funny office politics (ie. the hen party at the water cooler), to stepping into some serious roles as an educator, I feel like it’s forced me to grow a lot. I even received a thank you card from the staff and a nod from the principal for the work I did while there, which was satisfying to say the least.

Of course some things remain the same. Let’s talk about playing well-organized music festivals, holy hell what a blast. Never having been part of one before, I didn’t really know what to expect. Not that the band I played there in is huge by any means, but the show was packed, the food was excellent and the bands were tight.

Let’s put it like this, shall we? The average day as a performer went down as follows: wake up, eat a superb breakfast (you will need these nutrients because they’re likely the only you’ll really have all day), find some coffee and shake off the previous night. Sit in the sun and contemplate the shows you want to take in, as well as where your camera ended up the night before. Ignore text message from friend sent at 3:30 asking where you were. You were sleeping in a closet, that’s where you were. Reach into your pocket and realize that you have 5 green tickets. These tickets can be used in exchange for goods (wobbly pops) and services (attitude from the waitress when she realizes you’re just another cheap musician). Decide you should probably get started, so head on down to the artist’s lounge for appetizers and another meet and greet.

At this point you are lively and chipper, it’s 2 in the afternoon, the sun is shining and things couldn’t be better. Exchange a green ticket for the finest cocktail available (see: tall can of Pilsner). Converse with some other musicians and start getting excited to see tonight’s bands. Exchange another green ticket. You are on the jib this weekend (ie, broke and not willing to pay for anything), so convince yourself that the lovely barkeep doesn’t mind you not shelling out for rounds. Realizing there’s a show in 30 minutes, exchange another green ticket and be on your merry way to a show at a place that serves only hot dogs.

When you get there, you will see more people you know. This is great news because you will likely not have to pay for more wonderful treats. Take care of your hot dog and PBR quickly though, the Monotonics are playing and in approximately 30 minutes, the place will be covered in stickiness while the singer perspires all over you via an incredible mustache. Catch a cab to an outdoor venue, Biz Markie is playing and you’re really anxious to see if he’ll jam on Benny and the Jets. He doesn’t but the show is nothing less than fantastic anyways, Biz is in fine form. Make your way to the Beer Gardens (essentially a euphemism for a place where the impending riff raff is kept behind a fence and long lines await anyone who has to use the facilities). After discovering that you can neither get free food or drink (and not for lack of trying), you run into King Khan, BBQ and
a guy from Montreal you ended up on tour with last summer. After expressing an agreeable amount of discontent regarding the venue, make your way back to the artist’s lounge where you will be greeted with an ample amount of fresh green tickets.

It’s 6:00 now and essentially go time. King Khan is in party mode and you’re trying to keep up. The fact that you have a much smaller stature and are about 10 years younger does not bode well for you. Go along with it anyways since you’re convinced this is the best day of your life. After all, you and your friends have already commemorated the event with an clever name (Epic Friday) and proclaimed to all those around you, the name of your own personal club for the day (Booze Snakes). Make your
way back to the hot dog place for another dog and another show.

After the show, you’re really good to go, jovial and enjoying being in great company with more excellent bands to check out. Head back to the artists lounge, exchange more green tickets and make your way to the Breeders set. Convinced you’re now the coolest dude in town, use your new found confidence to walk right backstage and watch the Breeders from the side of the stage. After the set, say something dumb to Kim Deal, mutter something about how you want to marry Kelley and hook up with another excellent friend who just arrived. Find out the set times for the secret shows, exchange another ticket and head out to see These Arms Are Snakes. Run into more people, but this time you realize that you’re less capable when it comes to talking. Resolve to just kind of take it easy for a while. Find some water, take a seat. Oh oh, here comes more free beers. The night is slowly becoming one of those evenings where you begin to slip into lala-ohoh-Land and you’ve got to make it through too see the Obits set because Rick Froberg is one of your faves.

Find water, take another seat. Start getting a little surly. Your friends and bands are becoming a barrier for what you really want at this point: sleep, but you’re got to power through. Find water, take a whiz, find water, slag a hometown band and realize you’d probably be better off if you kept your big mouth shut for the rest of the night. You will now communicate only in grunts. What a surprise, you forgot your earplugs! Go to the bathroom, rip off some toilet paper to stuff in your ears and stake your claim right up front to watch the Obits (who end up totally killing it as a three piece until their delayed guitar player arrives). Impressed but tired. Really tired. You’re tired and you want sleep now. Your friends have become your enemies, talking about finding a place to party. You are not interested in any more parties. You do not want anything but some food and some sleep. Go along with
the first person heading south to a party and get them to take you, slouched over like a half empty sack of boozy flour, the hell home.

Oh oh, the party is going down where you plan on sleeping. You try to make your way to your sleeping bag but find nothing than more annoying obsticles trying to “interact” with you, telling you to be “sociable for once”. At this point, you are a wreck, you do not care what you need to do or say, you are getting to your sleeping bag. Tell off who you need to, mutter something about someone and how you think they make the best sandwitches in the whole damn world and how someone else is the best
person you’ve ever met and how they play giutar like nobodies business, leave them with that and slither on downstairs, desperately looking for some peace and quiet. A vacant room! Go to the far side of it, as far away from the party as possible. Toss everything out of the closet (again). This will act as a barracade for the uninvited parade of sloppiness moving about the house! Remove socks. You struggle in the dark with sleeping bag and resolve to just putting it over your body. Yes, that will do. I think there’s a shirt or two covering your feet anyways. It doesn’t matter. You do not care. You are done.

Sleep for 5 hours and repeat.

Here’s something interesting you may not know about Iran, and an important ecological issue that relates to the disputed election. The Asiatic Cheetah is the only cat of it’s kind to exist outside of Africa. Though now extinct in India, a small number roam about the plains of Iran hunting gazelle and avoiding poachers. When I first learned about the Iranian Cheetah, it was estimated that there were about 200 left. Shockingly their numbers have been reduced to approximately 60 adults as a result of habitat fragmentation, loss of prey and poaching. Even worse, a solid protection program is yet to be put in place! From what I understand, species protection hasn’t exactly been a top priority since the Iranian Revolution. Perhaps this would be another good thing that could come out of a modernized government in Iran?

Anyways, a couple things about the cheetah that I think are neat. The first is that people used to actually tame them to hunt gazelle, and you can see some amazing footage from the ’30’s here. I wish my two jerk cats we as capable… The second (and I’m sure you’ve been asking yourself): how can you tell an African Cheetah from an Iranian Cheetah? By the tip of the tail! Cheetahs in the Savannah have a white tipped tail whereas their middle eastern cousins look like they’ve dipped their tails in ink!

Fascinating!

This concludes our Bio lesson for Monday.

I felt super adult yesterday attending the hearing and it was really strange in a lot of ways. I was sitting there with the Mother of one of my students and the attendance board trying to decide what should be done regarding her future education. I went prepared with my notes and list of suggestions regarding my professional judgement of the (incredibly complex) situation.

Then I went and tried to help another student study for her Bio final. I majored in Bio. I taught Bio 12. Do you think I could remember anything about light dependant and light independant photosynthesis? Heeeeeeeeeell no. Sure had to fake my way through that one.

At the end of the day it made me think about how we’re all just actors, filling these strange rolls loosely scripted by our employers.

Grade 2 kids are for the most part, completely insane. I’m very much looking forward for a break from all of these little people, their sticky hands and their weird smells. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be working with them than anything else it’s just, well, if you specialize in high school there is not much you can do to stop them from driving you batshit crazy. Especially with a week left of school. You’re doomed as soon as you step in there. DOOMED! STEP IN THERE! I need to relax. Where are the wobbly pops…

I’m appearing at my first attendance board meeting this week. One of my students hasn’t been at school for over 4 months and she’s barely getting anything done with my help. Truth be told, it’s a really weird situation and I can’t really tell if it’s a result of her being consistently ill or if she’s just learned how to get out of having to go to school. So I’ve been asked by the principal to go to this thing and say my piece. I feel like a bit of a cop, but everyone wants what’s best for this girl. If she’s held back again, she will be turning 13 in grade 5. It would probably not be that great for her self esteem, but I’m sure it would be worse if she went into grade 6 not knowing how to do simple multiplication questions.

Work with my other students is going rather swimmingly. I was hoping the school would keep me on for a couple more weeks in July to do some marking, but it’s not in the budget. This is ok though because I could really use a week or two to finalize the book. A final edit, pictures, design and print the cover; these kinds of things when you’re doing it all yourself take a tremendous amount of time.

In other news, I am currently fascinated by the current demonstrations in Iran. That is how you deal with a fraudulent election. I wish some of that spirit would rub off on the people in the west who seem to pacified by bad television and bad food to react to similar situations. I remember when Bush “won” the first time, I expected Al Gore to fight for a recount. Alas, he conceded defeat a few days later. Same story with John Kerry. But I guess if those elections turned out differently, the pendulum wouldn’t have swung so far to the otherside last year.

Speaking of pendulums as metaphors, this province is getting rid of coding. I think I’ve talked about the issue before, how every student seems to be coded with something to make them easier to deal with (you can find some examples here). As of next year, this system will cease to exist. In fact, I’ve heard that so will the term special needs. Some of the teachers I’ve talked to are very bent out of shape over this. I’m not sure what to think. In some ways, I think coding students is like treating them as little products with defects, taking the human-ness out of them. This new way of looking at things is supposed to create more inclusive classrooms, which again I can totally get behind. The thing I’m not sure about is how it will affect students with behavioural issues. You simply cannot have some students in the same class as your regular kids. It can be really, really bad news. I’m sure I’ll learn all about how things are going to be changing this summer, part of my professional development and all. Ha.

Anyways, off to sub some elementary this afternoon. It’s another beautiful day so I’m going to scoot.

While Nova Scotia celebrates a historic election, there is no lack of frustrations for prairie teachers who are trying to figure out how to deal with the dumb-ass, Draconian Bill 44 passed by a provincial government which lacks much of any opposition. Albeit not a surprising move by a bunch of climate change deniers, the bill gives parents the option of pulling their kids out of classes which might be interpreted as controversial. It also acts as a sort of time warp because I’m pretty sure the last time topics such as evolution and sex ed were considered controversial, was over half a century ago.

Called in to sub at one of the larger high schools this afternoon. The term is winding down and half of them skipped. I was booked for Science but it turned out being a Learning Strategies class, often a euphemism for Teenage Babysit. Those who did show were pleasant enough and I was honestly surprised that none of them were high.

I also received some surprise news last night. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but along with two bands that I am very much involved in, I’m a hired gun in two others. This means I’m pretty much just given the tunes to learn, show up for a couple practices and play the odd show. They’re fun bands and it allows me to play music that I would otherwise never get the chance to. Anyways, turns out one of these bands is going to be playing this monster music festival in Calgary at the end of June which means this dude is going to have a killer time seeing a bunch of bands for free.

Alright, she’s pretty much done. I ended up taking off the second brake and I’m still on the lookout for a back fender, but it’s fully functional. Here’s the breakdown of what this rebuild cost me from front to back:

• front rim FREE
• front fender FREE
• Handlebar tape $20
• Chainring $40
• Bottom Bracket $20
• Pedals $1
• Cranks $1
• Toeclips FREE
• Chain $25
• Seat $2
• tube $3
• new rear tire $8
• Rear wheel + hub $71
• Freewheel sprocket $35
• Fixie sprocket + ringlock $6
• Frame $20
• bearings $1

You can see where I put money into it. I probably could’ve put it all together for a hundred bucks if I would’ve just used parts pulled off other bikes and such, but I don’t think it would be running as well as it does now. I might end up switching out the brake in the future, or at least changing the wire (I think it’s a little rusty), but other than that there’s not much else that really NEEDS to be done. It’s an incredibly smooth ride and the whole fixie setup is super fun. Not bad for, what is that, 263 bucks? Bun Bun agrees.

Things have been busy and awesome lately. A tonne of friends returned to town last week so between work and music stuff, there was much stoop sitting to be had.

First off, the exciting news about my bike. It’s done! Besides being on the hunt for a new rear fender, it’s up and running perfectly! I woke up saturday vibrating in anticipation to get to work on it. After talking to some people about the specs of the frame, I decided to convert it to fixed gear. That is, a bike with a crank that keeps moving along with the speed and direction of the rear wheel. It’s supposed to be a fun modification to make to a bike and it gives your legs more of a workout. So, in order to do that I needed a new hub. Being that my rear rim was shot anyways, I decided to just pony up for a new real wheel with a flip flop hub already built in. This means that I can ride freewheel on one side or flip the wheel around to ride fixie when desired.

I brought my new parts down to the co-op an hour before it opened and they let me in after I promised not to ask any questions. I got to work on it and thankfully my projected piqued the interest of Bike Yoda, who ended up spending a good 2 hours with me getting the tensions right and making sure everything was safe. Bike Yoda has, no joke, 12 fixed gear bicycles, so he was full of brilliant tips that I wasn’t even considering. At the end of the day, I popped some toe clips on it so the pedals would be less likely to shred my shins up while slowing down on a hill or something.

I also left a brake on for emergency stopping. Then I spent the afternoon booking around the neighbourhood and it was wicked fun!

Anyways, moving on. I saw Rancid the other night. They were opening for some band I could really care less about, and originally hesitated to go until a friend called me up with a pair of good seats for 25 bucks. I told him I was in and we headed down there. The set was tight, comprised mostly of old faves. They played a few new jams but drew heavily on And Out Come the Wolves and Life Won’t Wait. Tim is a character, barely playing his guitar, dragging the mic stand around stage so that the roadie would have something to do between songs. I was stoked.

Lastly, work’s been going well. I just picked up a new student who was apparently given the boot from school for selling drugs. I think I meet with her at the end of the week for our first session. With two weeks left, I’m not sure how much work I’ll be doing with her. One of my other kids is back in class and I received a nice call from her Mom the other night.

I have another student that I’m trying to work with but keeps cancelling on me. It’s a very interesting situation. In an effort to not get into the specifics, this girl may or may not suffer from a medical condition. She has not been to school in 4 months and some people think her mother may be inabling her. I can’t really get a read on the situation and spend more time on the phone with her mom being a social worker than teacher. I’ve had her for 3 weeks and she’s completed next to none of her work as well. This is causing her regular teacher much concern because she’s already been held back a year. Personally, I wouldn’t even reccommend she’s passed in to the next grade as she’s quite behind, but there’s not a lot teachers can do now when it comes to holding kids back. Some will just make their way through the system until they are legally allowed to drop out of school. It’s not a pleasant topic, but it’s reality for some kids who don’t have the support from home to motivate them through their education.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a kid like this either. When I was in my first practicum, I had a Jr. High kid who managed to slip his way through the cracks and could not read. It wasn’t that he had some type of learning disability either, he was fairly capable, but he’d learned how to take advantage of the system. The tragedy I think of the whole thing is that these kids will likely have a rough go of it for the rest of their lives as a result of them not developing any type of work ethic to help them from being worked over by this here society. You can only explain to a student so many times why the funamentals are important for this reason, but in the end if their parents aren’t capable of providing them with support it’s gonna be tough times.

On a brighter note, one of my other students (the one who had a stroke not too long ago) is flying through her math course. She will probably write the final at the end of the month and resume regular classes in the fall for her last year of high school. I’m super stoked on this!

I subbed in a Jr. High Art class today. It was ok. Had to take some 7’s to an art exhibit (which I thought was fascinating) and try to get them interested in it. This had mixed results. Most kids lost interest after 20 mins or so, sitting under the tables, pissing around with the smartboard in the room. Then I had to screen the old version of Romeo and Juliet for some 8’s who were interested in everything but the movie. I couldn’t blame them, it was wicked boring save for the butt scene which triggered many “ewwwws”.

There was a kid in one of my classes with a Replacements hoodie. This lad decided to call me out on the shirt I was wearing; a shirt I had given to me from the Juno nominated band F’d Up, after I put on their show a couple years ago. He was trying to get me to say the name of the band (which isn’t mentioned on the shirt), but I wouldn’t bite. I’ve always like wearing the shirt, the front print’s got a very renessance vibe to it, but I can’t have kids going home telling their parents their teacher was wearing a Fucked Up shirt. Alas, the shirt must be retired.

Anyways, you may have noticed that the blog has been less of a teaching journal as of late, and more of a general diary of my goings on. To tell you the truth, things are really easy going with my new job and there just aren’t many humourous anecdotes to report. I’ll be putting the book out this summer and I still plan on keeping this interesting, but with my Ed degree finished and my foot in the door to a teaching career, it can get tricky to discern what is appropriate to publish on here and what is not.

My students right now face tremendous challenges, many of which I don’t entirely feel comfortable reporting on. A bit of this has to do with privacy issues, but sometimes I feel like I might be representing myself as someone who comes off better than he really is. I’m just still a relatively clueless twenty-something trying to find his way around, it just so happens that I work with this kids who struggle way more than I do. By that I mean every day is humbling. Subbing, it’s easy. Put on a movie and basically babysit. My home instruction gig has put me in a position where I’ve become very emotionally invested in these kids, and when I hear about things like my 12 year old who’s getting electroshock therapy to try to improve her mental condition… what can you say, right? This blog has always been a source of good natured entertainment for me, and I intend to keep it that way. There is no sense talking about doom and gloom. I will say that one of my students has healed up enough to return to school. I was as happy as a Dad watching his kid ride away without training wheels when I heard this one. Know what I’m saying?

Anyways, so I spend most of my afternoons these days drinking PBR and Miller High Life in the sun, enjoying the absolute radiant beauty of my surroundings, friends and feeling thankful for the cards I’ve been dealt.

In other news, the record the band made last week is something I’m truely proud of. Never before have I been so stoked about something I’ve had a hand in creating. It’ll be good to go in 2-3 months and you’ll all get a copy.