Similarities in dealing with 10 year old boys and drunk Dude Bros.
(Dude Bro is an American colloquialism, in Western Canada synonyms include Bro or Kokanee Brah as in “Pass me another Kokanee, brah!”)
1. Say a bro does not respond to your request for him to leave a certain area, a patio for example, apply to him the broken record technique. I picked this one up in a 3rd year Education class. Simply repeat your request over and over again without giving the bro a chance to argue. When used properly, the exchange should go as follows:
You – “Alright, the patio is closing, you’ve got to leave”.
Bro – “Ok, just let me finish this beer/Kokanee”.
You – “Sorry guy, the patio is closing. You’ve got to leave”.
Bro – “Aw common man, just five more minutes?”
You – “Dude. The patio is closing. You’ve got to leave”.
If implemented correctly, the Broken Record technique helps deal with persistent bros, as well as children who need to either move or are being argumentative.
2. Anytime a bro has a Jagerbomb (a shot of Jagermeister dropped into a glass of Red Bull), the potential for aggressiveness is elevated. After 6 or 7 Jagerbombs, a bro may seek out action in the form of a physical conflict with either an unassuming patron/citizen or another bro. If the jacked up bro finds another jacked up bro, have no fear. They will sort things out themselves (fistycuffs), which results in them leaving to go find more Jagerbombs. However, if you happen to win the intentional shoulder lottery at a pub, or find yourself on the receiving end of accusations from an agressive bro, just employ something I like to call Feeding the Ego. This failsafe method will assure your safety and, if implemented properly, might actually see the bro off in a good mood and less likely to look for another confrontation. Here’s an excerpt from a back and fourth I had with a bro from St. Louis who was waiting for a friend of mine outside a venue after a show. To set it up, the bro spent half the set hip-checking my friend until he was told to knock it off.
Bro – “So is your buddy going to make something of himself, now that we’re outside of (venue X)?”
Me – “What do you mean?”
Bro – “He had a problem with the way I dance, and I’ve got a problem with that”
(note: this phrase is commonly used when a bro is looking for a conflict and should be recognized as the point in which FTE can best be employed)
Me – “Alright look, you’re a big guy. My friend, he’s very small. It’s pretty obvious that you could take him if you wanted to (implying strength). I know it, you know it (intelligence). Besides, did you come here to fight? Or to check out some rad bands (music sensibilities) and babes (charm/looks)?”
Bro – “Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go find some chicks!”
I use this tactic when trying to resolve fights between boys in grades 4-8 and I’ve always had positive results.
Filed under: Thoughts?
I’m sure you’ve noticed my updates lacking meaningful content as of late. I have 4 days to make rent money so I’ve taken on as much work as possible to try to make that happen. A note to future travelers, try to come home to a job or some money saved so you don’t end up in a dish pit, then a bar until 4am watching and cleaning up after drunks who try to get you to dance to “Ballroom Blitz”. I really despise like that tune.
I had an interview with the YWCA here for the position of a community support worker. It sounds like it would be a neat way to spend some time. The interview was funny (for me) because they kept on referring to my “qualifications” which, while legit, I still haven’t really assimilated into my everyday life. To me, I’m still just an akward, cat-loving band-guy. To potential employers, I’m a certified teacher with over a year’s experience dealing with kids of all types. Kinda weird to me. Plus, it gives me bargaining power, which is totally new. Turns out my “credentials” will see me topping out on the grid, should I get hired on. Until then I’m rocking a job at a decent pub, not one but 2 veg eateries, and the occasional shift at a freind’s martini bar.
Addendum.
So Greenpeace are doing a lot of crucial advocacy in my tired province lately, a lot of which involves trying to inform people of the complete environmental disaster that is being created by the tar sand developments. In fact, they made it out to the tailings pond that killed 500 ducks this spring (which can be seen in the video below).
Anywho, check this out. You may have noticed a link I have posted to a website called Stuff White People Like. It’s a great provider of commentary regarding the ridiculousness that is a lot of white people. I’m not trying to single out any certain person here, nor am I a self-hating white person or anything like that. I like the website because it’s funny. People take themselves too seriously sometimes and I think it’s good to be able to sit back and poke some fun at yourself. Let’s face it, all people, not matter what race, religion, eye colour or footsize are ridiculous in one way or another and let me tell you, after spending a month in Africa, the neurocies and quirks of whities in North America become quite obvious, and it’s totally funny.
What does this have to do with Greenpeace? Bear with me a moment as I explain. So, apparently one of the things white people like is comparing people to Hitler.
And I quote Isaac “Absent” Amirian:
“Being a truly advanced white person means being able to speak with authority about pretty much any field of conversation- especially politics. In order for white people to streamline the process of knowing everything, all human beings can be neatly filed into one of two categories: People I Agree With, and People Who are Just Like Adolf Hitler.
Comparing people to Hitler is an easy way for white people to get a strong point across to the less enlightened, or the insufficiently white. Everyone knows who Adolf Hitler was. And everyone knows that Hitler was very, very bad. Therefore, if a white person really, REALLY, doesn’t like something or
someone, he or she may angrily say something to the effect of, “This is exactly the same kind of thing that Hitler used to do!” accompanied by varying levels of profanity based on blood-alcohol content. No matter what your gut reaction may be at that point, do not disagree with that white person. Otherwise, well, you love Hitler.
This time-tested white-person maneuver may seem so awesomely useful to you that you are tempted to go out and try it right now. Not so fast. White people have spent the last 30 years perfecting this technique. There are cultural guidelines.
It’s also critical that you avoid the fatal mistake of getting creative and comparing people you don’t like to other evil dictators, such as Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro. With few exceptions, white people are actually fond
of almost any dictator not named Hitler, and your remark that “this is just like something Mao Zedong would do” will be met with blank stares and possible social alienation. This is because, with the exception of Hitler,
oppressive dictators share a passion for many of the things white people love- such as universal health care, conspiracy theories, caring about poor people while being filthy rich, and cool hats. Stick to the script and
compare things you don’t like to Hitler, and Hitler alone.
Now, like most reasonable people, you might find this strategy distasteful, and even a bit disrespectful, since after all, Hitler was responsible for the deaths of tens of millions, and probably doesn’t have that much in common with Pat Robertson, in perspective. If you prefer to avoid hearing or using the Hitler technique, we recommend you speak in soothing, affirming tones around angry white people to prevent the phenomenon from manifesting, and change the subject tactfully. To something that doesn’t involve George
W. Bush.”
Well wouldn’t you know, yesterday Ian Robinson, a columnist of the Calgary Sun, found a way to compare Greenpeace to Hitler. Feel like enduring some bad writing? Check this one out:
“How many Greenpeace activists does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
They’d rather sit around in the dark feeling morally superior.
Nearly 40 years I’ve been watching the people who belong to Greenpeace annoy the grownups.
The persistence of bad ideas always amazes.
Here they are again, performing one of their patented stunts at Syncrude, trespassing, gaining access to a tailings pond where 500 ducks came to an unfortunate and accidental end this year, and unveiling a banner reading: “World’s Dirtiest Oil. Stop the Tarsands.”
Like Greenpeace, I basically came of age in the 1970s.
It was a goofy decade.
I believed in love and non-violence.
I actually paid attention to the lyrics of Beatles songs and my two greatest heroes were both named Marx … Harpo and Karl.
Unlike Greenpeace, I grew up and jettisoned a world-view that kids my son’s age dismiss sneeringly as “tree-hugging, hippie crap.”
Thanks, South Park.
The only thing from that period that has stood me in good stead is that at parties, I can manufacture a field-expedient water bong in about 20 minutes.
A roll of duct tape and a pocket knife and I’m good to go.
The photos Greenpeace released show your typical industrial mining operation.
It is not a pretty thing.
Industry isn’t generally pretty.
Coal mines, gold mines, steel mills, paper plants … all the stuff that civilization rests on?
Not pretty.
On the other hand, the things Greenpeace wants for us aren’t pretty either.
Oh, their intentions are good, I suppose.
They’re like Marxists that way.
Hell, a lot of them are Marxists. And not the good kind, like Harpo.
The Marxist ideal was a fair economy.
The Marxist reality was the world’s largest concentration camps, a slaughter of humanity that made Hitler look like he wasn’t really trying.
It led to widespread famine and poverty, environmental disasters, lineups to buy soap, and the world’s crappiest automobiles — the Lada, the Trabant and the Dacia.
Greenpeace, in addition to wanting economies to be fair and for us to quit using limited resources (“No, I can’t go to work today. I have to line up six hours to buy a bar of Lifebuoy,”) also wants “an energy revolution” to stop climate change, disarmament (I know, that one’s always good for a giggle) and to change farming practices that actually feed people to “socially and ecologically responsible” farming.
Say hello to the $10 loaf of bread.
These people are children who have learned that if you throw a tantrum in the right way and document it, the news media will help you embarrass the grownup — in this case, Syncrude and any Albertan who hasn’t imbibed the purple Kool-Aid of extreme environmentalism.
Extremists in the environmental movement have been gnawing away at public perceptions for decades.
It’s now gotten to the point where throwing away a pop can into the garbage is a social crime that elicits the kind of horror that used to greet bestiality.
The Greenpeace folk and their ilk are actually more frightening than a lot of the totalitarian movements — and this is a totalitarian movement that wants to change every facet of your life, make no mistake — that have come before them.
If you check out the aims of Greenpeace and then think them through, something becomes clear.
Nothing that walks on two legs and talks is going to come out a winner.
At least Stalin wanted his people to be able to buy cheap bread.
And even Hitler thought ordinary Aryans should be able to own and operate a car.”
Filed under: Thoughts?
I have spent the week casting a huge employment net around the city. At first, I had a huge desire to do some farming. But the only work I could find was pretty far out of town and with the price of gas, it wasn’t going to be worth it. Then I found some work at a vegan restraunt here in town, then I found some work at another watering hole, then the YWCA got in touch with me regarding working with kids with disabilities, then I got an interview at a coffee shop. So hopefully, hopefully this will mean I won’t have to revert to working landscape construction or something.
I’ve also spent the week retrofitting my bike, and by retrofitting I mean adding to it the new bell and light I bought in Amsterdam. Get this, in Amsterdam, there are 700,000 people and 600,000 bikes. Bike parts are super affordable and the bike lanes ensure that you don’t have to be constantly paranoid about getting nailed by an irate driver.
Also, someone sent me this link of funny responses to exam questions. Reminds me of a couple kids I taught over the winter. Ahhh I miss those kids…
Filed under: Thoughts?
I have 3 more weeks left of taking malaria pills. Pills which are giving me some slight side effects, like the occasional spout of dizziness, which is a little annoying. But the jetlag is gone now, which is great!
This weekend I went strawberry picking. 4lbs of ripe amazingness for $10, good deal!
I love the summer colours in this province. The fields are absolutely radiant these days.
Heading down to the department of Ed. today to get some work in line for the fall. Would like to nail it down so I can avoid taking a construction job for the rest of the summer. That being said, I’m not about to complain about any work that comes my way now that I’m back in a Country where it’s reasonably easy to find work.
The band started rehearsing for the wedding this weekend. The jams are sounding good and I think it’s going to be a lot of fun. We just decided to add Bowie’s Rebel Rebel to the set.
People have been asking me about the culture shock thing. Some people were under the impression that I would experience it more when I returned home. When I think about it, I guess I experienced a bit upon arrival. The friendliness of the Ghanaians was a bit overwhelming. So when I got back, nothing really “shocked” me per se. I know how Canadians are. Here’s one though, I’ve got to say that North Americans are hella uptight. This occurred to me soon as I got to Minneapolis. Dealing with the ridiculous amount of security was so frustrating after being in a country where people aren’t told to be afraid of pandemics, terrorists or whatever the hell else.
I haven’t been up to much in the past couple of days, just mostly class-related work. I’m trying to write a paper about the environmental movement down here which can be described as weak at best. Or so it seems as I begin to write and do the research. None of the presidential candidates have environmental platforms, they’re mostly concerned with bread and butter issues. Makes sense, the country is caught between rural and urban life with most of the people concerned with trying to find a means to buy food and pay rent. Instability doesn’t really lend itself to taking up environmental concerns, especially where resources still appear abundant. It’s shocking from a Canadian perspective. There is next to nothing down here as far as serious recycling programs go. I’ve been buying two liter bottles of water and nearly choke everytime I have to toss one. My other option, I suppose, is buying a bag to ship them back to Canada in. No this is ridiculous, so I’ve been doing my best to at least reuse and modify the bottles to serve as coffee cups in the morning.
I have been burning through the Life of Pi as well. I can’t believe how much reading I get done down here where the go go go life isn’t able to beckon me with computers, band rehearsals, social commitments and other things that keep me “too busy to read”. Anyways, it’s a really enjoyable read, especially for the atheists (and biologisits!) in the house.
I’m also keeping low key because I’m trying to tighten up my spending before my last weekend here. I want to return to the fishing village for another night which requires me to not head down to the strip for a coffee and art shopping. No no, instead it’s reading and 50 cent beans with rice for me.
There’s a funny situation in the hostel right now too. A few people are the type of people that you can only spend so much time with. So last night, a few of us tried to avoid a few others (all in good fun, don’t get me wrong) albeit completely unsuccessfully. In fact, the wine and cheese party was “besieged by nerds” while I went out for dinner, or so the text message claimed. No it was true, the wine and cheese party really was besieged by nerds and the rest of the night was spent playing slightly awkward games of sociables etc.
Today there is 2 for 1 pizza at the Pizza Inn, a place we’ve been infrequently stopping when the jollof rice can no longer be tolerated. The no cheese vegetarian is an excellent source for western culinary reminiscence. The accompanying beer is also a dollar.
In the coming days we’re going to be visiting the Daily Graphic (the state-owned paper) as well as the Kofi Annan Peace Centre. Firday is the last class. Sunday I’m off to Amsterdam at 9pm Ghanaian time, with a 6am arrival. Apparently I have a hostel room booked with one of the nerds. I may have to look into this. I may have to “meet an old friend in Amsterdam”…
I’m back home for 10 more days. The shows went really well. In fact, I think it was the most successful jaunt I’ve ever been on. There are a few things that help keep spirits high when you’re on the road with your band:
The first is people actually coming out to the shows. Since we were opening for a bigger band we had nothing to worry about in that department. Sometimes you can hit a town half a dozen times and still only get 10 people out. On this one about 100 people watched us every night which is rewarding after sinking hour after hour into writing and rehearsing.
The second is promotion for the shows. We had some awesome people work really hard for us on this tour. That and the fact that we’re charting nationally now added to people actually being aware that we existed before we hit the stage. It’s neat to be out of town and have people sing along to your songs. I’ve never experienced that before, though the last touring band I played in was an instrumental one.
The third is pay. It can be a real bummer when you get paid out $6 at the end of the night when you have to find food, a place to stay and put gas in the tank. Fortunately for us, we were paid handsomely by each promoter and sold some merch to boot. This alleviates a ton of stress and I don’t think any of us had to dip into personal savings. A huge success in the world of independent music.
Fourth: tour tantrums. Spending a large portion of your day in a hot van with your bandmates can be grating. If people aren’t careful to keep their attitudes in check, the day can easily turn into a drag. Being that we’ve all run this gamut before in other bands, we made a point to air our grievances which helped raise awareness of things that can be done on a personal level to improve the overall enjoyment of the experience. It’s neat, we’re all older dudes and we were all pals before we started this thing, so it feels like everyone is a little more invested in making sure people are having a good time.
Anyways, our homecoming show was bananas and we were offered a spot to play at the Western Canadian Music Awards which is kind of neat. It’s a strange thing, this band. Things just seem to keep coming our way. The band we played with wants to bring us to Montreal in the fall. They really dug our stuff and would like to help us out so we’re starting to draft plans for the fall, which brings me to my next topic.
When I returned home, I arrived to find that I got a B in my ethics class and a reply from the public school board. Turns out my application was accepted and I was provided with information on how to apply for a job subbing this fall (which I will be able to do once I finish my last class and get my teaching certificate). That’s really what I’m going to shoot for. Having the flexibility to do the band thing and be in the school environment when I’m at home seems like the bees knees to me, for the next while at least. You know, you’ve got to keep moving forward, but you can’t forget who you are or what keeps you in love with the world. This is a lesson I’ve come to learn in the last couple of years re: happiness.
Ok, Africa time. Today I begin making with the preparations. First thing’s first; getting my itinerary together as well as a making list of supplies I need to pick up and things I need to take care of.
I found some part time work washing dish. Figure I should be able to juggle that and school for the next couple of weeks. Did I tell you that I’m playing a friend’s wedding this summer? I’ve never played one before but have always secretly wanted to. We started rehearsing jams like The Kids Are Alright and Harvest Moon last night. It should be a total blast. Alright, I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this one out, but that record Every Picture Tells A Story by Rod Stewart is a rock and roll masterpiece. I found it on vinyl the other day for a dollar and it’s quickly becoming my spring soundtrack.
In other news, I’m swapping some vegan baked goods for some tailoring. The girls who’s altering some of my clothes can’t eat gluten so I’m going to try my hand at my first batch vegan, gluten-free cupcakes. Wish me luck. Based on that experience with the brownies for the school staff last month, I will probably need it.
Ok, this post is to settle a dispute I had with my old man. Below is a picture of a jacket I bought for $8 at Value Village. I thought it was a totally sweet find but Pops called it unstylish because “the double-breast is out”.
Anyways, we ended up making a wager that day of the following criteria:
Without telling anyone about our bet, I would ask 10 fairly fashionable people their opinions on the jacket. If the vast majority agreed that the jacket was hideous, I would have to submit to the old man’s fashion advice. If there was an even split, we’d declare it a draw and the status quo would be maintained. But if the majority of the people thought it was sweet, Pops would have to admit that I knew what I was talking about when it came to style.
The results are in, majority ruled that my jacket is an excellent find. From friends, to family to people I don’t really know, the most of them think the jacket is rockin’. But it gets better because I wore the jacket to school today to get some opinions from my students. My Bio. 12’s all thought the jacket was “pretty dec”, but my 10’s, oh my tens. Upon my arrival to Science class today I instructed them to write down their first impressions of the jacket, pass their sheets forward to me and I would tell them the accompanying story. The following are unedited comments my 10’s made on the jacket.
Fancy!
Pimpin
Spiffy, looks a little professional.
Hot Shit! (X2)
Whoa! Jacket!
Nice jacket, but does it suit you?
My first impressions of Mt. T’s suit coat was that he was mourning about this being his last day ever seeing Miss (student), but I do think it is an awesome jacket!
It is pimp and I love the slit in the back.
You look like a science proffesur! (sp)
Not bad, makes you look like a cool professor because you’re not wearing the full outfit.
Mr. T that’s pimpin.
Very sofisticated (sp) but not your style I don’t think but hot.
I do not like it.
It looks like something my grandpa would wear to dinner.
You can tell it was $8!
It was a huge waste of $8… you could have bought dinner at a fast food place instead!
It’s totally hard-core, but you probably don’t want to wear it too much cuz you could get hot.
It’s totally kick-ass!
I prefer your t-shirts.
It’s ok, too long on you though lol:)
Wow! Very sexy HAHA.
Pro-steeze jacket! Money (for 8 bucks), I like it?
You look like a try-hard. LoL.
The t-shirts and jeans suited you better and depicted you as unique. It is hideous.
You look like a clown.
I must admit it is a pretty slick jacket. You remind me of a young Davey Havok, even though he’s a tool, but you’re not. It’s the hair that reminds me of him.
I hope you wear a fanny pack tomorrow because that would be funny but the jacket is P.I.M.P. Haha.
So I guess if it was up to my grade 10’s it would be a draw between dear old Dad and I. But what say you? Feel free to post a comment on the jacket at the end of this entry.
Anyways, second last day. My UF came in, signed me off. We went through my portfolio, I gathered some letters of reference and he gave me my final evaluation. What do you know, I’m officially done my APT. Both my mentor teacher and my university facilitator gave me loads of positive comments. Apparently I’ve “come a long way”, and “worked very hard” during my time out here. I don’t really know how else to comment on the whole thing. I can’t believe 9 weeks is up. Two and a half months of my calender is X’ed off. I return my resources and my keys tomorrow, mark a few unit tests and that’s it. Tonight I clean my room, pack up my stuff and get ready to move back to the city. Jeeze. I think I’m going to go for a walk now.
So just as I’m putting this entry together, I hear this thump against the window beside me. It sounded like a snowball and since it’s snowing, that’s not an unreasonable assumption. I turn to see two objects descending. Crap. I go outside to check it out and sure enough there’s a bird on the steps. I instinctively pick it up. I have this motherly nature about me where I want to get things out of harms way and try to help them. What can I do though? It’s possible this bird has done serious damage to it’s cranium. But I don’t know. It can’t talk. I’m not an ornothologist. Damn. Put it out of it’s misery? Not an option. First; I don’t know if it’s that miserable, second; I can’t kill things. It’s one of the reasons I’m vegan. So I sat there on the porch holding this confused little creature. It’s not the first time. I’ve had to wrangle birds from my cat’s mouths on the odd occasion and I don’t worry about parasites as I’m sure to wash my hands. So I don’t know, the best thing I could think of was to put it in a tree and if it’s going to die, then at least let it die in it’s “natural” environment and not in the hands of the species responsible for placing windows in such an erroneous location.
This post isn’t meant to bum anyone out. But think about how we indirectly contribute to harming other beings on a daily basis. It’s kind of a staggering idea but as we embark on this “green revolution”, let’s keep in mind the survival of other beings on this planet.
Well, it’s snowing like crazy which is cutting into my outdoor soccer lesson planning big time. This isn’t so much a bad thing as I’m anticipating the introduction to the sport as being kind of a pain. Wait, that’s a self fulfilling prophecy waiting to happen. No, the unit is going to be super fun and I wish the sun would come out so we could get on with it!
In gym today a kid called me dumb because my reffing was unfair, to him at least. I told him that unless he wanted to spend the rest of the morning in the office he was to keep the insults to himself and he nearly started to cry. There’s something weird with that kid. I’ve noticed it since day one. He’s a little off. His buddy fell on his keys later on and spent 5 minutes on the ground howling. I thought he broke something but he insisted that it was just the wicked charley horse. He walked it off and was fine.
My 12’s and I talked about puppy mills a bit in class today since we’re learning about selective breeding as part of a genetics unit. It also opened up the floor to discussions on fish farms and how genetically modified fish roaming wild might not be a hot idea. Though some of them were convinced it would be since it would add genetic variability to future offspring. That one stumped me for a sec.
My 10’s were fun as usual. I gave a girl the boot today for noogying another boy during my lecture. During the lab section, a group confessed that they were going to miss me when I left. It was kind of touching. I am going to be saddened when I leave these kids, they’re total characters. One of them wanted me to admit I spend all my time outside of school at the gym and that we need to call a plumber because my “pipes are about to burst”. I assured him the only thing that keeps me in decent shape was the diet and the occasional band practice. His buddy told me I should try eating onions. I told him that I hate onions. He said they’re good to eat like apples and that they clean you palate. I told him he was full of it and he said that tomorrow, he’s going to bring an onion and that we’re going to “chow down”. His friend then told him that his breath is bad enough as it is and that he should probably just stay away from anything that would make it worse.
I just heard an accapella version of the Weakerthans song “Aside” on the CBC. It was pretty awesome. Did I ever mention that I think their new record, Reunion Tour, is fantastic? There is yet another song about a cat named Virtue that makes me want to cry, but only because it’s such a terrific description of a situation I swear I’ve found myself in vis a vis my companion animals.
So I’m back in the City. Yesterday was crazy busy. In the span of 12 hours, I gave my presentation at the youth conference then traveled to the Columbia Ice Fields (which I have photos from, but I forgot my USB cable, so I can’t upload them yet) then drove home (through some miserable weather) for a band practice that ended up being a warmup for an impromptu performance at a house party. It was a great way to take my mind off of school. It seems like my practicum is all encompassing these days and I’m getting desperate to find ways to not have to think about lesson plans, lectures and gym class.
10 days left though, this week is my last week to teach a full course load. Then I’m bumped down to 20% in order to give me time to put together my final reflection as well as my professional portfolio.
Anyways, the conference. It was great. I got to know a couple of the other teachers outside of a school setting, the students came out of their shells a bit and I had a lot of great conversations with young minds regarding environmental stewardship and responsibility. I also had the chance to converse with Brian Keating, the keynote speaker a bit who happens to be a friend of Jane Goodall’s. Our conversation took an interesting turn when I asked him if he was veg. The man has done some magnificent work in the field of conservation but I was curious to know where he stood. I’m always befuddled by environmentalists who aren’t veg, it seems such a natural progression for me. You see the fisheries are collapsing, so you don’t support their exploitation, you know? He wasn’t and from what I gathered his excuse was something to the effect of it being to hard. I tried to explain how being vegan isn’t really that hard and doesn’t take much time, but it was cold and late, and I find these conversations don’t really go that far with people who are three times my age. Anyways whatever. He was an awesome dude and gave me some tips on what to look for in Ghana. Coincidentally, he started a hippo sanctuary there and encouraged me to go check it out while I’m over there.
Wow, the snow is really coming down here. People were bumming out this morning when I went to get some groceries, but it’s the way it goes in this climate. It’s a drag, especially since we’ve had that first taste of spring but I remember a few years ago when we got a snowstorm in May. These things happen and there’s nothing you can do about them. I guess it will be good for the trees! Hopefully the roads won’t be too bad and I’ll be able to make it back to the school in the morning.
Horray! It’s friday and I’m back in the city getting ready to find some eats. The cats are good and it’s supposed to be 20 degrees here this weekend. I smell a cookout tomorrow! If there’s one thing we’re good for this far north, it’s going hard when spring finally hits and not wasting a moment.
Anyways, today was great. In Bio, we were talking about bioethics and I can’t remember how it came about, but one of my female students asked how old you had to be to adopt a kid. I said I didn’t know and then a boy proposed adopting a 17 year old with the intentions of marrying her. This gave me an excuse to call him a “gross little pervert”. Class erupts in laughter and we talk about ethics until the bell rings.
Gym was kind of a pain in my butt because some of the kids really couldn’t care less that I was in charge. It was friday, I told them they could do the activity or sit in the office. The girls said they’d rather do yoga.
In science the kids got a unit test. They were freaking out and I think they were anticipating a much harder test. After they were done we made cell walls out off bubbles and screwed around until the day was done. Everybody wanted to split today. I think it was that taste of 2 free weeks that’s making everyone even more anxious to get out of there.
Just something interesting I thought I’d share before I sign off, and really the main reason I’m blogging today. A follow up on that link I posted to garbage island. Since we can’t depend on the mass media to keep us informed when it comes to the things that are truly detrimental to our well being, (see: CNN’s report today on why Heather Mills dumped water on her lawyer’s head), the folks at Vice continue to impress me with their guerrilla reporting. You’ll remember them from that like I posted to their documentary on the oil sands. This month, they posted an excellent feature on actually sailing out to garbage island in what I’m pretty sure is the first thorough investigation of the mass. Check it out! Yet another reason to curb our consumption of plastic crap that ultimately ends up littering the planet with particles that will take eons to break down.
Filed under: Thoughts?
Well not really, but I am feeling rather bohemian lately.
I spent the last 10 days couch surfing, tomorrow the band is playing a show out of town, then we’re putting out a record here, then it’s back to the High School for 4 more weeks. Spending a few days in my apartment has me looking forward to finishing up and moving back in. I miss my neighbourhood, my cats and the farmer’s market on Saturday. The experience of being away has been good, don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the past and drawing plans for the future. Before we get into that though, I should tell you about the ferry ride the other day.
I’m sitting on the ferry and I ask a man if he can watch my stuff as I skip to the loo. When I come back, I find him shuffling a deck of tarot cards. I question him about thc cards as it’s always been one of those things that has kind of intrigued me. He asks me if I’d like a reading. “Sure”, I says and we go through the motions. I pick out some cards that can supposedly be interpreted as the story of what’s going on in my life these days.
First card I draw that is to represent my past is the card of temperance. The man described how I’ve spent my last few years being tempered, not unlike a sword. Pretty general. Through our experiences, I think we are all tempered in one way or another. The next card I draw is to represent something that I’m over which is the nightmare. The nightmare is over, according to Tarot Man. I pondered this a bit and began to somewhat buy into the experience. He asks me to pull a card to represent what I’m up to right now. I pull the hermit card. Interesting since, as you know, I’ve removed myself from everything to focus on school and get some things together. He tells me that through this experience, I’ve learned how to deal with things myself without having to worry about losing things or people that I hold dear. So that’s kind of neat. Then he asks me to draw a card to represent my future. I draw the world. Interesting (I think to myself), being that I am not 3 months away from heading to Africa. I pulled some other cards too, that reflected how much I’m enjoying life right now and how all signs are apparently pointing to yes. The over all experience, while taken with a grain of salt, was a neat way to describe my situation. Sure, there are 72 cards, it’s probably all chance. But sometimes it’s neat when you open youself to the idea that maybe there’s something more to that kind of stuff. If anything, it gave me an opportunity to think about a few things using a different frame of reference.
Anyway, enough with the hippy-dippy-doo tales. I continued my journey from the ferry to see even more family. I drew up plans to go mushroom picking after meeting with an Uncle who assured me there are morels to be found close to my home. Then onto spend the night watching Blue Planet on a giant screen with my Aunt and Uncle I really don’t see enough.
Roll into town the next evening, head straight to band practice from the road, play for an hour and pass out on my couch.
Begin second week of spring break.
I went down to the University yesterday to pick up my grant when I bumped into a prof I haven’t seen for about a year. We shot the breeze for about an hour and it was after our conversation that I decided to apply for my M.Ed. for next fall. In fact, I think I’m going to apply for to a couple other Universities as well as it has never really been an option, but due to my atypical good marks during the last couple semesters, I should probably make hay while the sun shines.
So come September, what’s it gonna be? Will I be a grad student or will I have a teaching job? Since all signs are pointing to yes, I will likely be a busy beaver this fall.
Just got back from doing some snowboarding at the hill where I once again rocked the Powerslave album. It was a beautiful day up on the mountain which is more than I can say for the last couple of days I spent at home. Brrrr, cold cold cold. It looks like March is going out like a lion this year. I saw moose on the drive in this morning which was pretty exciting. Usually you get some elk, some sheep, but never moose! Moose and bears are like nature’s b-sides.
Had a productive weekend back home. Taxes, student loan appeals, groceries, workin’, socializin’, eatin’… it was great. I am more than ready for the next four days. This week marks the half-way point of the APT. Time is quickly going by and I’m starting to get excited for summer.
I had my screening interview with a school board on Saturday. It was a bit nerve-racking since I’ve never had a professional interview before. The lady warmed me up with some fluffy questions and then got right into it. 15 “what would you do if”, “why do you want to teach” and “how do you know you’re being effective”-type questions. I answered them as honestly as I could without the help of coffee or a good night’s sleep. I should expect to hear back from them in May.
I am driving to the West Coast this Friday to spend spring break with some family. I’m looking very forward to it and it’s always nice to get some time in by the ocean. No big plans, maybe eat some food, might see a show or two, mostly going to do some serious relaxing. I feel like I haven’t slept in months.
The band is supposed to put out a record in a couple weeks as well. We haven’t played a show since January and I’m eager to try some new songs out in front of some people. We’ve also been asked to play a friend’s wedding this summer. It’s going to be really fun as she wants us to play jams by the Stones, Queen, Blondie, the Kinks, Neil Diamond and the like. For some reason I’ve always wanted to play a wedding but I don’t really know why.
An excerpt of a conversation between me and a kid who is apparently interested in my love-life:
Kid – “Are you married?”
Me – “No”.
Kid – “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Me – “Nope”.
Kid – “Wow, you’re a loser!”
This after I spent 40 minutes trying to teach his stinky, lippy, post-suspensioned monkey-ass how to curl.
I also spent some more time with the same troubled kid from yesterday who, as soon as he saw me arrive at the rink, practically begged me to work with him on his shots again. Ok, this completely blew my mind. It gets better, he’s actually improving and was giving other kids tips. Well done kid, consider my head exploded. At least until tomorrow I’m sure…
I had the Bio students research STD’s (or, STI’s rather) in class today. Tomorrow they will be presenting their findings in front of my UF. I’m looking forward to it. I’m starting to realize how capable they are, how they only seem to do as much as you expect them to and otherwise know how little effort to expend to make it through. Well, some of them anyways. There are a few who are totally clued in and I’m excited for their adult lives, they’re going to be movers and shakers I’m sure.
Chased a couple kids down today to complete their labs. Tried to explain to them how easy it is to get extra marks and that they only had lousy assignment grades because they were being lazy. I wish someone had the same conversation with me in Chemistry 12.
Read the Lorax with my coffee this morning. What a fantastic book. It made me want to get a tattoo of the Lorax. That would be awesomely nerdy I think. I especially like the line in that book that says “unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not!”. Oh Dr. Seuss, you were awesome but wait, no, I don’t think I’ll get a tattoo of the Lorax now that I think about it. Cartoon characters make AWFUL tattoos.
Oh yeah! I also forgot to mention that the nearsighted kid from yesterday rocked another triple take-out at the curling rink! He claims it is because of the”weed” he eats before we play. Weed of course referring to these little seaweed strips he fills his pockets with before he leaves home in the morning. He gave me a few and at 9 o’clock this morning, after 3 cups of coffee, I decided that seaweed is not my favorite thing to eat.
I’m dead-tired. I had a lot of planning to do for today and consequently was up late last night. Plus, it’s mandatory that I watch an episode of Futurama before I fall asleep. One thing about being in the mountains, I’m sleeping like a log. They say it’s the altitude. I say it’s no cats, no ambulances, no roommates or no noisy neighbours. Ah, just joshin’. I can usually sleep through that stuff, well except for the cats. I am basically a slave to them when we share a living space.
Had my university facilitator in again today. He gave me a glowing review which is always nice to hear. I like criticism, but when I hear that what I’m up to is a step in the right direction, it makes me feel like I’ve made the right decision.
The superintendent was in today and I got to sit through a meeting where the staff talked about the pros and cons to refurbishing a 50 year old school as well as building a new one. (Wow, that was a pretty poorly constructed sentence…). Anyways, it was interesting to hear what people had to say regarding the implications either decision will have on the community.
I started my human reproduction unit with the 12’s today. It went over way better than I thought it would, I never give those guys the credit they’re due. There was barely any giggling when I went over the male bits and we had a few discussions involving stem cells, cloning and ethics surrounding abortion. Actually, when I think back on it, it was probably one of the most engaging classes we’ve had so far. Huh. I gave them an assignment to investigate alternative forms of made birth-control. I also told them that, regarding the test they wrote yesterday, they would not get marks for their long answers that consisted of what I call “term-salad”. That is, mashing a bunch of unrelated key terms together hoping for a mark or two. Jokers. I know how that one works, and ten years later it still doesn’t.
Played some more floor hockey with the grade 7’s. My team lost the shoot-out and I had stinky-glove-hand for a portion of the afternoon.
The young man who wants me to help him (with his application for post-secondary) gave me his admittance essay to look over today. It’s pretty rough. He’s a student who speaks English as a second language and it always takes me a bit for me to discern his words and understand the points he’s trying to make. Though I minored in ESLm who would’ve thought it would come into play so early in the game? At any rate, he wants to be a denturist and I have 2 weeks to work with him and get his stuff in order. He’s a good student in my class and I don’t think the language barrier should hold him back.
The girls I tried to get interested in curling yesterday threw snowballs at me after-school. I told them they all had detention tomorrow. They told me they were going partying this weekend and that I wasn’t invited.
The young lad who listens to me drum walked me home and talked my ear off about a bunch of stuff. I’m still trying to convince him to learn how to play an instrument. He says he’ll see me at the upcoming NOFX show.
It’s a beautiful day out there today. I walked home and could smell the melting mountains. There were many streams I passed and it made me a bit homesick. But also, not really. It’s hard to describe, but I almost feel at home away from home here. At any rate, I’m looking forward to being back in the city this weekend. I have some loose ends to tie up and some shots to get.
Oh yeah, the student really dug the new Constantines record.
The last couple of days, whooooweee, where to begin. Ok, so the vegan teacher has picked himself up and dusted himself off. I have no choice. What, am I going to let extracurricular drama affect my last semester of this? That would be insane, I’ve come too far and can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Besides the content I’ve been going through with the students and some floor hockey I’ve been playing on the side (where I attempt to play goal), a certain experience has caught me off guard. Let me elaborate.
So I’m supervising this student, shooting the breeze with him while he’s chosen not to partake in the day’s activity, when he starts misbehaving. Like, really badly. I tell him to cut it out and he challenges me. “What are YOU going to do?”, he goes. “Send you to the office”, I says and the little hellion replies “you wouldn’t dare”. Really. REALLY, I’m thinking. So I go, “give me one more reason to”. He knocks it off for a moment, then his friend joins him and they start screwing around. I tell them to knock it off and they give me the funniest line. “Why should we listen to you? You wear your pants as high up as they go”. (A note, the boys practically had their pant-waists sitting below their boxers). After I explain to them that when you’re my age, the goal of fashion is to not be at risk of flashing anyone your wiener, I send them to the office. “Alright, get outta here, I’ll see you two after school”. The friend says something to the effect of how I’m not his teacher and blah blah blah, but the broken record technique prevails and both of them head to the office.
After class, I meet with them and ask if they can give me a solid reason why I shouldn’t tell my mentor teacher about their bad deeds (he was away during class due to an appointment). They start going on about how I’m their best friend and how I’m nice or something. “Boys”, I go, “I don’t want you to butter me up and I’m certainly not your friend. I want you to explain to me why I sent you to the office”. They continue not getting it and I end up letting them go and informing the teacher.
Turns out, they’ve both had a hard go of it and after I learned the details, it cast them in a different light.
20 minutes later a teacher walks in and tells me that she just handed out two behavioral slips to one of them. At the end of the school day it’s like, kid, go home already!
Anyways, today I get to school ready to start off new with the two boys when a few minutes after my arrival, I am informed that the two were caught being mean to an animal. It wasn’t even 8:00 yet. Seriously! So my mind is blown, we all know people who abuse animals when they’re young have serious issues that need to be addressed, and the staff are fully aware that this one kid in particular needs some guidance. It was a lot to take and my first real experience with this kind of thing. (On a related note, did you hear the one about the marine that threw the puppy off the cliff? I wish I were joking and could say the military doesn’t strip people of their compassion).
So I don’t know. We’ll see what transpires with this whole thing. The staff are fully aware and no one’s turning a blind eye, so I’m interested to see what will be done about these two boys. They’re good kids but they’re having a rough go of it. Fortunately, they are still young enough that they’ll be able to change if someone gets through to them. But it’s really weird when you’re dealing with kids who don’t respond to any positive feedback and only know how to get attention by being little turds.
So enough about the drama.
At the end of today I caught one kid doing laps in the hallway. I queried him on this behavior. He tells me that they’re watching a movie on racism and the ignorance of the fascists being interviewed is really getting his goat. We get into an extensive conversation about racism, sexism, homophobia, capitalism and the failure of the electoral system in the time span of about 20 minutes. Then he asks me if I can burn the new Constantines record for him. For sure. It makes me happy to know some of them are so passionate about making things right, and these are the moments that keep me hopeful.
One of the neat things about my living situation is that there is another room on my floor, rented out for other guests to stay in. This weekend an awesome couple were in town and last night we sat around the living room last night sharing stories. Turns out one of them (D.) lived in Kenya for the first 18 years of his life and his partner is a prof at my university who’s actually writing a book on sexuality in Africa (with a focus on the queer community). Very interesting stuff! I had my mind blown several times during our conversation as they told me stories that I would have never heard otherwise.
D has been back 8 times in the past 4 years and does work with a non-profit that tries to find disabled Kenyans work. It’s hard enough to be a resident there where the rate of unemployment is extremely high and the term minimum wage has no tangible meaning. But the people are very industrious and I saw some photos of things people were selling to get by that were literally made from garbage. One woman made shopping bags from wire and bottle caps. Another man’s job was going door to door in the slums offering his knife-sharpening service. The contraption he used to sharpen knives he made himself from various waste materials. The whole time I was being regaled with these stories, I couldn’t help but think about how much material we throw out that is usable.
Another thing they told me about was the water, and how it was usually undrinkable and black in colour. The lady, C., had a woman with “freshly” washed hands touch a cob of corn she bought and told me that the resulting effect was her first experience with projectile vomit.
It sounds like the vegan thing is going to be my biggest challenge while I’m there. While legumes and fruits are widely available, there isn’t much of an animal rights movement in a land where people struggle to get by on a daily basis. They told me that while I will probably be able to find food to eat, but the slaughterhouses there have glasswindows (unlike they do here) and people treat animals fairly poorly.
Lastly, they provided me with all kinds of tips on critical vaccinations and what to do to prevent pickpocketing and such. They were very clear that while things happen, I should be looking forward to the experience this summer as Africa is an amazing place. And I am. As well, they said my experience in Ghana will likely differ from theirs in Kenya. Don’t worry Mom, I’m going to have access to clean water.
Today I woke up, found some excellent breakfast/coffee and spent the majority of my time at the school marking, putting together tests and tomorrow’s lesson plan. A couple of other teachers ended up coming around during the day and I got to know them a little better. One of them invited me out to the community dinner that goes down every Sunday night and is put on by various local groups. Also, it’s pay by donation. Score! I don’t know who put it on tonight, but I ate like a king and met a few more locals. It was totally fun.
When I came home I marinated some tempeh bacon for the morning and had had a chat with the 12 year old (S.) who lives here. The one who screened me my first night, you remember. Tonight I asked him about the music he listens to. Sure enough, his hockey warmup playlist consisted of some predictably bad stuff. Hey, I don’t care if he’s 12. Kids today are unfortunately exposed to some total crap, marketed by labels that know their bands are seriously lacking in content. SAs a result, they appeal to people who were never exposed to the Nirvanas, Elvis Costellos and Minor Threats. So I’m going to make him a mixtape. Get ‘em into the good stuff while they’re young.
Friday. 1 week down. 8 to go. I think I can do it. Today I gave a fairly extensive lecture on the ear. It was a lot of material, but I think some of it got through. I caught one kid drawing penises in his textbook (a la Superbad). I told him that he had until Monday to make them disappear or my mentor teacher would be notified.
Some other ridiculousness happened yesterday. En route to the staffroom, the hallway is full of smoke… Why? Some kids decided to see if microwaving a pencil would split it in two. The kids bolted but were ratted out and one of them spent this afternoon cleaning the microwave in detention.
Sat in on a Gr. 7 health class this morning and the teacher has scheduled the program around the development of a local baby. I think it’s 6 months old now or something. They put a carpet down, let it crawl around and observe it’s length and weight every week. It’s kinda neat, the kids are very interested and it gives them an opportunity to learn about reproduction and development in a tangible way. So today, the Mom was talking about how the baby was a result of in vitro fertilization. The teacher explained that the process involved the sperm fertilizing the egg outside of the body. This piqued an interest in the class and one kid goes, “how do they do it? Like, in a bag?”.
So now I’ve got the weekend off. I think I’m going to go riding tomorrow. It’s my birthday today. I am spending it in my new favorite cafe eating a bagel sandwich and some daal. I think I’m going to get a brownie too. Booked my flight to Africa. I’ve got a 3 day layover in Amsterdam. So that’s neat. Apparently there are some sweet museums to check out over there. I’d like to ride the rail somewhere while I’m there as well. It’s supposed to be way cheap.
I ran into an ex-classmate I haven’t seen since my 2nd year of University. It was nice to see a familiar face, but I’m getting along just fine being surrounded by all these new people. I’m supposed to go riding with the music teacher sometime soon. There are a couple others who have offered to share their corporate passes so as you can see, I’m pretty set up and taken care of.
Once a small-town kid, always a small-town kid I guess. It’s hard to describe it, but there is such a huge difference between being in a place like this and the city. I love the city and all. Actually, I really enjoy the city where I usually reside. But these small mountain towns are way laid back, which is more my style. No traffic, less insanity. People make eye contact with you on the street. I donno. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up teaching in one someday once I am through with all the things city life has to offer.
Filed under: Thoughts?
Applied for my passport.
Canada Student Loans is keeping me from registering for my last class.
Disheartened to hear about the violence outside of Chicago.
Leaving in 2 days and I think I found a place to stay.
Spring is here.
“You act like I don’t know my own way home…”
Filed under: Thoughts?
Ok, so I’m finished with campus life for the next 10 weeks! We wrote our big final yesterday and I was convinced to go out with my classmates to a country bar called the Ranch. Seriously, the Ranch. Lots of cowboy hats and a wooden dance floor. It was actually a total blast and one of the many engaged girls in my class taught me how to two-step. A funny western dance that comes off as fairly polyrhythmic when done well to a straight forward country song. I think the most enjoyable part was revisiting these long-forgotten roots of mine. I was born in small town Alberta and the majority of my relatives are still involved with rural life in some form or another. I have fond memories of these country weddings I attended when I was young, everyone cutting loose and having a good time. I guess that one of the things it’s all about really. Not judging and manufacturing divides between people. It reminds me of something I remember hearing Henry Rollins saying when he was talking about conflict in the middle East, and how it might look if both sides realized they dug the Ramones, stopped fighting and had a huge block party to celebrate their commonalities. Whatever, idealism keeps me going.
Anyways, the next couple of days are going to be spent tying up loose ends. I’ve got to apply to school boards, get my passport and clean my place up for the subletter who’s going to look after my cats for the next 10 weeks. So here’s a couple photos to hold you over until I have something interesting to tell you.
This one was from the Science Olympics we held at an inne-city Jr. High. My station was the egg drop. One of the kids, the trouble maker, was interested in my skateboarding abilities, challenged me to a game of Skate and told me that he could probably kick my ass.
We had a potluck in class on our second last day. About 3/4 of the dishes people brought were vegan. It was a touching gesture as I’m pretty used to just eating melon-y fruit salad and dry buns at these kinds of things. But this time it was curry, sloppy joes, awesome fruit salad, dessert sushi, veggies and grilled sandwiches. I was floored!
I brought a banana-chocolate-tofu pie, tried to take a photo of it, then tried to edit the photo to make it look “better”, then posted it on my blog.
